Vision Gives Pain A Purpose

I'm reading a book called "Purity: The New Moral Revolution" by Kris Vallotton, and am learning a whole lot from it.....actually, more like getting a fresh perspective from it.
Purity nowadays is kind of a relative term, especially to teenagers. What does it really mean? If I say that I'm committed to purity, does that just mean I'm not having sex before marriage? That I don't look at pornography or read steamy dime romance novels from the half-priced bookstore? That unfortunately I have to suppress my sexuality and ignore the desires that I have? Faking that I don't struggle?
I don't think that's what being pure is all about.
The book I mentioned opened up a whole new outlook on what being pure, and striving for purity, means.
Purity is a lot more involved than barely keeping your V card until you jump the broom.
Kris calls it a battlefield. Fighting for your purity(mental, emotional, and physical), is honestly a battle. But your pain isn't for nothing. What I love about what he talks about is how your purity is actually a prize! Its like a trophy. Sometimes I wonder why God gave us sex drives before we turn 25, because I bet it would make it a whole lot easier on us young people to stay pure! Well, the thing is, when you have to fight for something, the value and worth of it skyrockets. When I get married, I want to know that my husband has fought and kept his purity and saved those thoughts and actions for me, because that's how much I meant to him, even before he met me. I would feel so honored that he did that for me. I want to do the same thing! I want to be careful to value my mental and physical purity, so one day I have something valuable to give to my husband. I think, and I would hope, that even right now, whether I know him or don't know him, that we are fighting for our purity to save for each other.

I also want the purity and pure actions to not have to just be grueling choices, but choices that come out of my heart. I was buried with Christ and resurrected into His life. Because of that, I am literally dead to sin. I am no longer a slave to sin. The Bible says anyone who is not of Christ is held captive by the devil to do his will, so I have the choice now. I have been enabled to make righteous choices!
Kris says in his book: "Free people are not the slaves of their physical desires; rather, they train their bodies to behave in order to fulfill the higher desires created by their own virtues."
He later says "You can't just wait until the car windows are steamed up to decided who you are going to be."
He talks about planning for the future, writing out who you want to be, and what virtues you want to live by.
We need to decided beforehand what is okay and what isn't. Run from temptation, the bible says!

Purity isn't a list of "Yes" and "No"s. Purity is a fighting lifestyle, and a desire of your heart.
I titled this, "Visions Gives Pain A Purpose" because I know what I want to achieve. I've already kind of talked about the hopes I have for my future marriage, but there is so much more than that. I think that the spirit of God can more easily flow through me to touch people when I am being faithful to Him.

1 Timothy 4:12 says, "Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."

By striving for purity, I can set an example for people younger and older than me. I can be an encouragement and a statement. I have the power to be able to show people that you don't have to give in to the lusts of the world, and filling your fleshly desires. It is possible. Is it possible to be perfect? I can assure you, it's most definitely NOT possible. I have messed up, and I can't promise I won't mess up in the future. But I pray every day that God would create in me a clean, pure heart and renew a right spirit within me. Oh man, being pure can be a struggle and a fight sometimes. Most of the times it's a fight in my own mind, and almost always a fight against myself. But God is sooooo much bigger. He alone can actually fulfill me. Nothing else can. The more time I spend in His presence I realize this.And He's fighting with me.

You know how when you are dieting and exercising, it helps to keep a vision of the reason why? Whether that be a healthier lifestyle, or a nice body? Usually when I am tempted to eat that donut or have seconds during dinner, the picture of what I am working to look like will pop into my head. Even though resisting is painful at the moment, the vision of the outcome keeps me going. It's usually what motivates me the most.

That's kind of the way I am starting to look at my purity. I have a vision of a beautiful, passionate marriage that is a prize for me and my husband. A marriage we have both fought for and finally we get to experience the many amazing things God created for one man and one woman to experience together. On my wedding night I will be able to have the joy of knowing we fought the battle for each other, and both of us have saved ourselves so we would have something worth more than all the gold in the world to give to the other.

I have a vision of setting an example of purity for my friends, and younger girls. Even people who are older than me. I want them to be able to see Christ when they think of me, and be strengthened by knowing they are not alone in their fight, and that it is quite possible to have victory in our everyday battles.

If I didn't have those visions, the pain that comes with resisting flesh and temptation might not be worth staying pure. But the prizes far outweigh the immediate gratifications. And a lot of times there is a painful price for not staying pure.

Jesus, I ask for a revolution in my generation, that young people would keep rising up and claiming purity and fire for living for you. Please strengthen us and help us to strengthen each other. Divided we fall, together we stand. Give us those powerful visions that will help enable us to have the determination to fight for our purity and for each others purity. Amen.

The Call To Life

Once upon a night,

I heard my Savior call..

Desire, darkness, doom, and death,

I heard Him through it all.

I didn't hear His whisper,

I knew not what He said.

He nudged me just a little

to try and get inside my head.

He spoke a tad bit louder;

the voice becoming clear.

Though sense Him I did not,

to me Himself drew near.

I admit, so lost was I

in this world of sick decay..

But even in the darkness,

the Son revealed the way.

"I love you! Follow me!

Have you heard my cries and pleas?"

He said as tears fell from my eyes

and I dropped, filthy, to my knees.

"I know not why you want me!

If you are just, and fair...

I'm not fit for your loving arms,

about me you shouldn't care!"

I felt crippled and disgusting;

all he gave me was true love.

That's what makes life worth it all,

the kind from up above.

He said, "I came to die for all,

but there's something you should know...

I would've done it just for you

because I love you so."

All my sin and shame is gone

because to Him I gave it all.

Jesus died my soul to save...

Can you hear His call?

{I wrote this in 2010, and just found it as I was going through old folders and notebooks. Thought I would share:) }

Your Heart, God

{"Your Heart",by Chris Tomlin}

There's an amazing song called "Your Heart" by Chris Tomlin.

It's a song that really gets me, ya know? It's one of those songs that makes me fall to my knees, and sing from my heart. The first time I heard this song, I was sitting on my friend Elise's bed with her. We were talking about the story of David; I had read a book from the perspective of Jonathon, and she had read a book from the perspective of David. Although the books had different outlooks on various points of the stories, the general point was, obviously, still the same. What was really, really cool was that we were both, like, seriously impacted by getting a new view on that story. We talked for atleast an hour or two about how we wanted to have hearts like Jonathon's, and David's. We talked about how we desired to delve into the Psalms, now that we knew the depths of David's story. What was once a bible story was now coming alive to us, all thanks to 2 god-led authors who wrote historical fiction recounts of the same section of the bible.

Realization sunk in that these guys were, well, REAL. They aren't just an epic story we read about to give us courage. Oh, no. They are much, much more than that. Their stories are, most definitely, some of the most action-packed and heart-wrenching stories I've ever heard. But alot of times it's easy to look at them as just that- stories. The reality is that they were real people; people who experienced heartache, doubt, joy, triumph, loss, and any other emotion or experience we have in our every day lives.

What is so inspiring about David and Jonathon's story is that they have one thing in common: a fierce passion and loyalty towards the God of Israel! They devoured the Law as if it was their daily bread. That was all they had of God in written form, and they wanted all of it they could get! They constantly reflected this crazy love for others. God's victory and favor went with them. Even though we often see David as the champion in the story, God's power went with Jonathon as well. Him and a little servant boy attacked a full army of Phillistine's and had victory over them that only God could have given! I believe God loved Jonathon's zeal and confidence in Him.

I know Jonathon must have went through some pretty rough times in his faith. I mean, your dad becomes king! That is pretty sweet! But not too long afterwards he starts going astray and pleasing people instead of God. No matter how hard you try to convince him to see what he is doing, he keeps going along his not-so-merry way. Then, God blesses you with the amazing gift of a best friend. Furthermore, your dad becomes jealous of how ridiculously anointed he is, and decides to pursue him so that he could murder him. You, know, in case he might try to overthrow the kingdom and prove he would be a much better king than Saul, even though David never once did something that would threaten Saul's kingship.

It said that Jonathon and David's spirits became one! That's equivalent to the type of connection you have when you get married! The closeness and trust and Christ-centered love that can be found in a Godly marriage is what Jonathon and David found in each other. No, it wasn't anything weird, or gay for heaven's sakes. They had just found a soul-brother, ya know what I'm sayin'? Like, the kind of friend you would gladly give your life for. I don't know how many people can say that they have found a friend like that.

Anyways. Its a pretty amazing book. You should definitely read it. The one that I read is called, "The Prince" by Francine Rivers.

The thing I wanted to touch on is David's heart. His life just drips with the heart of God. That explains why God Himself called David, "A man after my own heart."

Oh, how I so desperately long to have a heart after God's own, and David's.

This is why the song, "Your Heart" by Chris Tomlin really gets me. Because It's, quite literally, my heart's cry. If I accomplished one single thing in this life on earth, it would be to have a heart like God's. To know his heart, to live with His heart in my physical body. To love so much it hurts in an amazingly good way. I want people to be thoroughly convinced that THERE IS A LOVING GOD.....because how else could she be loving so insanely, loyally, and continually if there WASN'T? That's what I want people to think when they think of me. Someone who always stands on the Word Of God as her light and guide; someone who always gives a helping hand when one is needed; someone who will always be there for them, and always meet them right where they are at. Someone who always wants more of God.

And just like David, when I mess up big time, and even continually mess up big time, I am brought down to my knees in tears and break back down those walls that sin and deception built between me and God.

I want God to be my number one priority. Not in comparison to anything else, because I don't want anything else to compare to my longing, love, and devotion towards God. I want that passion and zeal that comes with the realization of who God is, and I want to look up when I'm on a tight-rope and it's too scary to look down. Hard circumstances? God's got it. Yeah, yeah I know. Even David had doubts. Not all of the Psalms are happy-happy-joy-joy! But You know what? God was always there. And David was always delivered because of his faith and his heart.

I think that maybe, a heart that is after God's is in the process of being made after God's. Oh snap!

A heart after God's will become a heart after God's.

Thanks for that one, Jesus!

So, basically, I need to stop criticizing myself, and stop trying to fix myself.

If I want God's heart, and I do, and I hope you do as well, then what do I need to pursue? My own perfection? The "good" in me? Do I need to just break fewer rules and give more money to the church?

Um, I don't think that's it...

I think that I should begin pursuing, even more than I am, the thing that I want most.

God's heart.

Nope, definitely not the easiest, laziest choice. It requires alot of me, actually, all of me.

It requires complete surrender.

But oh......it is SO worth it.

You won't even know what hit you.

Join me in making the daily decision to pursue God's heart?

Rescue Me?

"He brought them out of darkness

and the deepest gloom

and broke away their chains."

Psalm 107:14

{If your so inclined, listen to the following songs while reading this post:}

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzqjLVwV2sA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yq9jYTcsoc&list=PL5-BkNlqu3ArFbbOCJArkRUZ51MiYuSWy&index=2&feature=plpp_video

This verse is so precious and powerful..

I just imagine.....a man (or woman) with a broken heart and spirit,

sitting in a disgusting jail cell of their own sin...

tangled in the chains of yesterday; the shackles that keep them in an endless cycle of

fear, disobedience, pain.....

regret and sadness dripping from every cry into the darkness

What hope do I have?

Where can I run?

Everywhere I turn, the shadows of my past taunt me

they mock me

they know there's no escape...

 Their maniacal laughter echoes in the chasm of my soul,

etching permanent signatures

of what eternity holds

The chains around my wrists, neck, feet...

carving me into someone who I want to run away from

but can't

Someone save me...

can anyone save me???

In the midst of desperate, gut-wrenching cries for redemption

for a second chance, somehow...

A small ray of light

slipped through the rocks and crevices of the walls..

Beams began bursting forth, lighting up my darkness

nearly blinding me

Uncontrollable fear of my shame being exposed came upon me like seizures;

but, in the center of my soul...

I was reaching out, fighting to take a hold of this rapidly growing hope-

a hope of escape from groveling and clawing

on the crumbling walls of the endless black hole beneath me

starving for my being

What was this force as strong as death?

Can it be that I'm straining against my very self??

From within I begin to sense a new will;

a new strength;

a fighting spirit

my nearly blind eyes searched for the source of this white hot, pure heat

Could I leave this lying excuse of my existence?

Can you truly be offering me a way out??

Time is running thin

I heard a thundering voice from thin air, telling me that it was real

I needed to take His hand

and that He came for me

......come with Him

But why???

My body recoiled into a heap of doubt;

what is this illusion?

No God would come back for me...

I failed Him time and time again

I felt...love...radiating from behind the trembling walls

rattling from the intensity of heartbreaking desire

love dying to burst into my cell and rescue me

Rescue me?

Trembling, shivers racking my body, I stagger forward,

about to make the biggest decision I had ever made

I fell to my knees and cried with every ounce of my being,

"Father, forgive me!!!!"

All it took was the blinking of an eye

for my jail cell walls to come crumbling down with a marvelous crash

the depths of Hell felt its shaking, and shuddered with hatred for the sound

It knew it had lost

I was swept up into the air, being spun faster and faster

I felt every fear being melted away;

every selfish desire dissolving into nothing;

The sensation of a healing touch caused me to look at my wrists and feet-

I saw the scarred wrists of Jesus;

I saw the scarred feet of Jesus....

Binding and healing my wounds with the same hands that broke off the chains;

With the same loving hands that I nailed to the cross, at Golgotha

The place of the skull

The place where He was crowned as King-

my King-

and won the battle of our minds.

We have naught to do but let Him in-

He conquered, not so we could battle and war our entire lives

but so we could live in victory

and thrive

walking the path he paved for us!

A path filled with earth-shaking love, pouring from our hearts,

which he made into wellsprings of life!

Tears of indescribable, completely humble thankfulness streaked my face

Drawing me into his presence, where I felt for the first time, the fullness of joy

He spoke:

"My child, I LOVE YOU.

It overtakes me with joy that you have chosen to let me love you

and to let yourself love me back...

Will you fight for me?

The battle is already won,

but we must keep hold of what is rightfully ours!

The devil will try to take whatever his claws can grasp

I know it's hard

and yes, your strength will fail you at times...

But I have unending strength I will give you when you are at your weakest-

You will rise up on eagles wings

and have feet like hinds feet on high places

And when you finally come Home,

we will dance the streets of gold together, my child!

Run to me every day

every moment counts

drink deeply of my presence, child.

I love you."

There are no words, not even these, to describe the glory that shone

to describe my fierce loyalty, this insane love, I had never before known

for my Savior

He brought me out of my darkness,

stole me from my deepest gloom

and broke away my chains;

replacing them with an eternal crown,

and a place by his side, forever~

Called Out, Brought In

In one way or another, God is calling each of us out. Calling us out of our everyday routine, or out of the mediocrity of lukewarm Christianity. Maybe he's calling you out of sin, out of something that you are involved in or doing that you know you shouldn't be.
The reason he calls us out is because he has something WAY better for us! When we are in the mud and the mire, he just holds out his nail-pierced hands and says "My love, my love..I have so much better for you. My plans for your life are hand-crafted and so much more than this. My plans for you are, in all reality, mind-blowing; you and I will touch so many lives. You and I will change the world, one step at a time. Please, take my hand, and I will pull you out of this sinking sand."
And so many times, we shake our heads no, and sink farther down....hoping, maybe, that nobody will see the things that the mud is covering up. That even Jesus will not see the things, little or large, that we feel guilty about or are ashamed of.
I'm going to let the bible do the talking for a moment here.
"What benefits did you gain from doing the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!" (Romans 6:21)
Thank you, Paul. 
Hence the term, "dirty little secret"? I think so.
When you hide things from anyone, or God, it begins to grow, sort of like bacteria.
"If you're not feeding your spirit person, then chances are, you're feeding your sinful nature."
Keeping it in the dark. Feeding it every so often with your actions or thought life. Do you think that you can control whether or not it grows? When you hide it, deny it, or downsize the seriousness of it, you are blinding yourself from seeing how fast its growing. Oh, and it will grow. Things like that don't remain stagnant. You either get rid of it, or it keeps growing.

I think, honestly, I was called out yesterday! At the Called Out by Get Real event. That title alone should tell you that you are about to get called out. Maybe that's why some girls didn't come...oh...
Anyways.
I got called out yesterday when I was listening to the speakers. I was reminded that I was taking part in something was bigger than me. I was also reminded that God was leading me in a direction bigger then I keep on thinking. As I looked around the huge venue that God provided for our event. I was really starstruck by everything God did for our event. I realized that he really did have his hand in what we were doing. And I was getting to be a part in it. I was interviewing this women's basketball star, in front of who-knows-what news stations. You don't get that opportunity every day. Not very many people ever get a chance like that. I got to ask her questions and listen to her testimony.

I just had this....feeling.....the entire event. I can't shake the feeling. I know God has big things for me.
I want to write a book. I have no idea how, or what the book should be about, but I felt God calling me out of my day-to-day life to start thinking about the bigger picture. Reaching lives....reaching out and opening my heart and life. Because I think that if other girls hear my thoughts then they would really be able to relate! I also think that I will be teaching. I don't know. But it opened my eyes to the huge playing field before me of opportunities.

God is calling me out of my every day life. He wants me to live in preparation for the things he has for me. I honestly have no idea how I am supposed to do that, besides just pursuing God and keeping my eyes on the prize, so to speak, instead of getting obsessed and intertwined with the little distractions of everyday life.

I am so excited about what he is doing and what he is going to do through me. I'm ready to get off of my butt and start getting some things done for the Kingdom!!! :)

Luke 10:41-42

"Martha, Martha" The Lord answered,

"you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her."

Sometimes I feel like Martha. So caught up and worried about the things "in the now", you know? The things that are only temporary, and don't really matter that much in the long run. Sometimes I put a magnifying glass over the little problems and it makes them enlarged and supersized to me. I cause stress and anxiety for myself for no good reason! Actually, there is a reason. A reason NOT to cause myself stress and anxiety, haha! The bible says "Be anxious for nothing". its that simple...

The bible also says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct the way you should go."

So basically, I should put off stress, worry, anxiety, and any feeling that I need to control things. I should put on trust. If I try to figure things out all by myself, I am going to fail miserably, and be miserable in the process. Not a fun path to frolic on, let me tell you. There is actually no frolicking allowed on that path, because you cannot frolic until you've got everything you are supposed to do completely laid out in black and white; every choice you need to make as lucid as spring water. There is no time for frolicking until that has been accomplished, since it's kind of wasting time that could be spent worrying, and planning, and running around in nervous circles wondering what to do with yourself, your money, and your life. Ahem.

Oh and by the way, you never actually accomplish what you are trying to accomplish. You'll never have things perfectly laid out. And if you do? Well, life will teach you a lesson, because plans change, and things that are out of your control will probably change your circumstances, and any expected circumstances.

"So what's left?!" You may ask. "Am I destined to worry my life away, and my worry will ultimately have not helped one smidgen in any grand scheme, or plan, that I, or God, had for me???" Well, if that's what you choose! Many people choose this, and at one time or another, everyone does. It must seem to be the easier path.

Actually, it's the path that doesn't require something specific of you. Something that is valuable to you, and makes you vulnerable. Something the other path requires of you.

Trust.

We choose to worry because we fail to trust. That's the bottom line.

Ouch! I mean, we are only helping, right? Not hindering?

Well, if what God wants is our trust, then we are failing to see the reason He puts us in situations where there is no way for us to do it ourselves.

Maybe, just maybe, it's so that we can learn to trust Him. To make the situation better, let me assure you of something you already should be assured of:

God wants to prosper us in our lives, and He knows what is best for us. He knows our needs and wants and has a proper timing for everything. So if we stop fussing and throwing temper tantrums and just go with His will, and TRUST Him, whatever happens is in His hands. If it was what we planned or what we wanted, AWESOME. If it's not, then obviously that doesn't mean He has ceased to be in control. It just means that "His ways are higher than our ways; His thoughts higher than our thoughts". And guess what? He is still working everything out for his ultimately amazing plans for us! He's God, and we're not.

Okay. Deep breath. :)

Back to the small story of Martha and Mary.

Every day, we should consciously think about how we can focus on what's necessary.

No, not the necessary you're probably thinking of.

Jesus said, "only one thing is needed".

I think He was referring to what Mary was doing. She was focusing on what was needed. The essence of Jesus.

We should just close our eyes for a few minutes and breathe in His presence, inhale His very existence each day.

Guess what? This is a burden off of our shoulders!

God's got it!

Hes got everything under control!

Speak it to yourself when you feel stress or worry climbing up inside of you. Speak, and say something like this:

"No. I refuse to stress. I refuse to feel like I need to handle this. God's handling it for me. I'm trusting Him, because I know He loves me, and has control of this."

And maybe a second something like this:

"Jesus....I accept the peace you offer me as your child; thank you for taking care of me. You always have my back, and I oftentimes ignore and forget that truth. I love you. Help me to rest in your arms. Speak to my heart, Lord, and help me see all the many ways you declare your love to me, even daily. If I've been acting like Martha, help me to be Mary."

It's as simple as that.

Doing Hard Things

Sometimes in life, God calls us to make choices that aren't easy. In fact, sometimes He calls us to make choices that are very hard. Emphasis on the VERY. And you know why they're hard? Because naturally, we care about what other people think; we care about what other people expect us to do. Rocking the boat causes light to be shed on us, and sometimes its negative light! But no matter what it is for you, God sees how hard it is. And He still asks it of you nonetheless. We can be assured that God is in control, and He has a reason for asking you do make certain choices. If you always took the easy route, you would be stuck in the never-ending circle of a place I call wimpyville. Yup, wimpyville. The place in life that you get stuck in sometimes because building up the gut and muscle to make hard choices ISN'T EASY.
When you're going through a time like this, don't be afraid to ask for prayer and support. We all know how hard it is. Look up to people who are doing hard things in their life, who are stepping outside of their comfort zone so that God's plan can ultimately play out.
FREEDOM comes by stepping outside of the chains you're in when you live for your own, and other people's, comfort. You become stronger.
Don't live your life within your comfort zone.
God calls us to a radical lifestyle.
He also calls us to trust Him in everything, in ALL choices we make.
So don't worry about ANYTHING.
:)

Thoughts on Psalm 37:4 :)

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

God gave me this scripture yesterday and today. I think this is what He wants me to know even more, and the step He wants me to move forward with.

Delight. I ought to look that up in the dictionary. Actually I think I will.

Here is what I came up with from dictionary.com:
Delight: a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture

I loove that last word. Rapture. Ah!

Now that we defined the word delight, lets move forward :)

Okay. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Lets flip this scripture to see if we can find another layer of what it means.

He will give you the desires of your heart, when you delight yourself in Him.

So, let's see what this is saying. If I want to receive the desires of my heart, what must I do? Search for them? Date around so I can meet "my knight in shining armor" or "my sleeping beauty"? Make more money so I can buy the stuff I want?

Nope...none of those are correct, as you probably guessed.

The verse says if we want to receive the things our heart desires, whether it be a fantastic marriage, a cool house, or a job you enjoy, it clearly tells us the step we can take to do that. Although, deep down in our heart of hearts, sometimes we doubt that God can do this for us. So we try to accomplish finding things to fill our desires, which as we know, never ends up working out in the end.

Anyways.

There are only 2 steps, and both of them are painstakingly easy to understand. (To do? They may take some willpower against our old fleshly desires. But its soooo worth it!)

Step 1: Delight ourselves in the Lord. (Find our joy and pleasure in being with Him, talking to Him, reading The Love Letter and Guide he wrote us....)

Step 2: Receive the desires of our heart. (Sometimes God knows what we want more than we do. I mean, that makes sense, 'cause He fashioned us in our mother's womb and all, so we might as well trust His judgement.....I think that sometimes, receiving what God has for us can be difficult, for whatever reason; it might be the lie of feeling unworthy, so we reject it because we don't think we're good enough, or maybe what He is giving us isn't what we thought we wanted, so we stomp our feet and whine a bit....etc, etc...)

Maybe there really is a reason those steps aren't reversed. Maybe God really is doing it the right way! :P

It's because God knows what we need, as well as what we want. I'm sure parent's out there can relate. Your kids have needs, and your kids have wants. Would it be good to give your children all of their wants, all of the time? Good heavens, no! Because you know that sometimes, their needs should come before their wants, and oftentimes, what they want is not what they need. Other times, they don't want what they need. Sometimes It's actually what they shouldn't have.

Starting to connect the dots yet? I am, slowly! Haha! :)

God knows we need Him. He knows that by pursuing Him back, that is the only way we will ever be truly fulfilled.
He also knows that the "desires of our heart" won't fulfill and satisfy us, although by the way we pursue our desires more than God, we seem to think that they, indeed, will.

Lets use an example.

Say there is a parent and a son. The son is a child.

Dinnertime rolls around, and the kid doesnt want to eat any of the food.

"I only want a Popsicle and thats it!!" he whines.

You know a Popsicle wont fill him up, and especially wont keep hunger away for the rest of the night. You know that if all you feed him for dinner is what he's whining for, he will probably end up with a tummy ache.

If I was the parent, I would only see two choices.

Choice 1: Give the kid the Popsicle and let him experience what repercussions he will. Let him realize that he is still hungry, or atleast will be later on. Point out to him what happens when he eats what he wants before he eats what he needs.

Choice 2: Tell him that he may only have a Popsicle after he eats his dinner.

Has there ever been a time where you thought something, or someone, would pretty much make you happy? But in the end, it didn't really give you long-lasting happiness? Or there were repercussions because you ended up being wrong about what you needed to make you happy?

I know that I have. Definitely. Especially in regards to boys! (Notice how I said boys, not guys? There's a reason for that....Aaaaannnnyways...XD back on track now, Kayla...)

Although I may not have consciously thought that a boy could make me happy, my actions and the way I spent my time showed I obviously thought that one could! And even the flip side being true as well! That I could make a boy happy!

(That last sentence can be an 'ouch' moment for girls, because something in us was made to make a guy happy, to serve and be a joy to him. And if we cant find our identity in making a guy the happiest guy ever, or if we don't seem to be enough for him, then we oftentimes will get depressed and our self worth will go down! So that's why you shouldn't be seeking to make a guy happy, until God brings along the man He has for you. Well, besides one Man you will always want to please. THE Man. Jesus:D We can be selfless godly women, encouraging and serving others, but in the aspect of relationships, we need to know where they are going to find their only fulfillment!)

 

Sometimes we don't realize just how we are searching to find our pleasure and happiness in other things; sometimes the only thing we realize about our desires, is that they aren't being filled.

Let's just say it; let's just put it out there!

When our desires aren't being filled, searching harder within the garbage bag the world calls "fulfillments" is not going to be the answer. We may try many things, and some things may give us short-term pleasure, but nothing we find is going to fill us up and give us the happy and joyful life that everyone dreams of.

When our hopes, dreams, and desires aren't being filled, it means we are not delighting ourselves in the Lord. Or maybe we are only letting Him be a charm on our bracelet. Well let me tell ya, the amount of room in your life that you give God is the amount of your life, and your heart, that He can change and fulfill.

God can and will fill every desire of our hearts. We, on the other hand, cannot, and will never, fill our own true desires, or anybody elses.

In the end, the source of our true happiness is always God, who is, in fact, the CREATOR of our hearts, and designed our hearts that way.

What a wonderful promise He makes to us! It's like the best deal I've ever heard!

He invites us to eternally fall in love with Him, the most tender, intriguing, romantic being I've ever known, and the one who created us so that when we drink of Him deeply, as some do of wine, we will be deeply fulfilled<3

That is why, I'm sure, we call it "being drunk in the spirit" because the more you drink, the more happy and overflowing with joy you become!

"Your love is more delightful than wine" Jesus! (Song of Solomon 1:1b) :)

Let's get this straight: not only does He offer Himself to us; He promises that when we delight our souls in drinking of His wine, we will be fulfilled, and our earthly desires will be filled as well!!

I'd like to add that when I drink of His amazing presence and love, I desire nothing but to be as possibly close to Him as I can be<3

In conclusion, it is entirely possible to actually delight ourselves in the Lord. If you dont believe me, then you have not tasted of Him. The bible says "Taste and see that the Lord is good!" It is possible and desirable to fill our every want and need with Him.

That's why we can never seem to find the missing puzzle pieces to our hearts in the "things of the world" as we Christians call it.

We can be assured that when we find all our delight in God, that our earthly delights will come. :)

Our earthly desires will not make us happy unless we are already completely satisfied in the Lord and what He has already provided.

Unclench your hands from the possessions, people, and habits that you know won't make you happy, so that Jesus can open the floodgates of heaven and shower you in blessings and love. :)

 "Seek first His kingdom, and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33

God will never fail to fulfill you.

His only requirements? For us to open our hearts; unclench our hands; and run towards Him with reckless abandon.

Never give up. Yes, it will be hard sometimes and easier at other times. But deep down you know where you are meant to be. Right in the arms of our Savior.

Do you feel Him calling you?

Ladies: Song of Solomon 2:13b, Psalm 45:11, Psalm 37:5-6

Gents: Matthew 11:28-30, Psalm 105:4, Psalm 37:5-6

Psalm 37:4

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." <3

Ta-ta for now~

Amazing Love!!!

I'm going to share with you a vision God gave me after an intense week of serving/ministering to the poor and helpless. It happened during worship at ::Infusion Youth Group. :)

The whole Camp Compassion group was in serious need of some water; the water from the well you drink of when you are worshiping Jesus! Many of us were really looking forward to youth group on Wednesday night. When the worship team began to play, I and many others were more than ready to drink deeply of Gods presence; we wanted Him so badly, and our weary souls were in desperate need as well.
I didn't even care what other people thought anymore- I went straight up to the front and instantly jumped into the atmosphere of worship. I was praying that every heart and soul in the room would abandon everything to run after Him. I prayed that His spirit would pour over us like a bursting dam and His tangible love and healing would be present. I was worshiping my heart out and reaching for God like nothing else mattered!
I remember a specific change in atmosphere when the band started playing How He Loves. It felt like oil was being poured over me, the oil of Gods presence and His love; the whole point of our week at Camp Compassion was to shower the thirsty with Gods love; our ability to serve came from His love! It was then that I started to have a revelation of the power and greatness of the love of Jesus- although we had been servants all week, the Ultimate Servant was pouring out Himself on us, and in the light of that thought, God gave me the vision I'm about to try to describe as my eyes were closed and I was focusing on Him:

I was imagining that I was worshiping before the throne of God. I looked up and God was there, huge, and in all of His splendor; the thing that I noticed was that He was holding His heart- He was holding it in front of the place where your heart usually is. The heart looked like it was so full that it could explode!
I could see the fiery, selfless love in His eyes, and He was looking at us- at the youth of Infusion- with a gaze full of love that consumes your everything!

He thrust His hands towards us, still holding His heart, and when He did that, His heart bursted; streams of love in the form of vibrant, colorful lights shot towards every person in the room, wrapping around each one like a ribbon! For every person there was a different color- there were colors that I cant describe! 

The emotion that flooded over me was indescribable- I had caught a small glimpse of the passionate, consuming, unconditional love that was bursting from Gods heart for us! It was the type of love that is so strong it's almost painful, but painful in the sense that His desire for us is so strong that He can't bear the thought of not being with us for eternity~

Tears began to well up in my eyes as a passion and new understanding of God's heart flooded my whole being. For the rest of worship I just soaked in God's presence which was heavy in that room. Standing in the light of liquid love, I realized that though I, and the rest of the Compassion team, had been servants all week, there was tremendous honor in having the privilege of having that same love flow generously through us to touch lives. We were being servants ultimately to the one who gave everything for us. His life for ours! Him, being brutally crucified for the shameful sins I have committed and will commit- Just so that the gap between me and Him could be covered by the Cross; the chasm of Hell and eternal separation from Life to have a bridge across it!
He did all that so that the mere opportunity for me to choose to surrender my puny, meaningless life without Him, to the one who will satisfy ever desire I have; to a glorious King who is obsessed with loving us.

The words, "amazing love" don't even begin to do it justice.

Hallelujah. :)
<3

Get Real and Get Modest! Part One!

Okay ladies. (And guys too, but I can definitely speak from a girls perspective)... What It looks like I'm going to say isn't what I'm going to say. Confused? Yeah, I know the feeling. Normally in an article like this you would hear about how your supposed to put some clothes on, and start paying attention to what you wear, and stop being selfish, and la da dee dee da. Well I'm going to share a different take on it, just some thought that have been aimlessly parading through my head as of recently....
Okay. So, I believe that you should change from the inside out. Not from the outside in. I don't think that just because your a girl who calls yourself a Christian doesn't mean that you should dress modestly. "Oh I'm saved now, well let me go buy some of those shorts that are a wee bit longer and buy some guy tanks to layer with so I don't show any honey when I bend forward! Time to be modest, because that's what I'm supposed to do!" Ha, ha, ha, puh-leeaz. Give me a break. Now, given, covering up is SOO not a bad thing. In fact, it's very beneficial. But what matters SO much more is your reasons for being modest. I think that's one of the things Ill be blabbing about right now are those reasons, and also that it's not all about the clothing. There's so much more to modesty than clothes. Granted, most people will judge by appearance. So keep that in mind, what kind of image you are putting out when you claim to be a devoted follower and lover of Jesus Christ. But let's take a peek into another take on modesty. My take on modesty.
Okay well Im not much for beating around the bush, okay well sometimes, but not today! Haha. So here goes.
I looked up the definition of modesty on Dictionary.com, and found a couple of interesting things.
Here are some of the definitions:
1. The quality of being modest; freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.
2. Regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.
3. Simplicity; moderation.

Notice that the first definition had nothing to do with the outward appearance! Actually, I kind of like the refreshing way they put it: Freedom from vanity, bragging, and showing off(etc., etc...). I love that first word. FREEDOM. Mmm. Drink it in folks, because it's something you don't see much of in its truest form!
Freedom from feeling the need to show off(which I conclude is a form of insecurity.....) which means we are more confident in who we are. Confident enough that we dont need to show off (this means how we carry ourselves, and also how we dress) because we know that inside we are actually pretty dang cool! Why would we advertise for something that is already great? (Its not like we are anything that should be bought and sold!) And the type of guy you should be wanting? Well, he probably won't be attracted to you if you ARE advertising. (That was a statement that has been tried and true in my own life, and in the lives of many other girls I know!)
*Remember, our physical body and thoughts of our physical body, are meant for ONE MAN and ONE MAN ONLY. And that man will be a man of God who wants us first not for our phyisical body but for the beauty, spunk, and uniqueness of our hearts and the humble, gentle, quietness of our soul before God, and the world.*
Sometimes putting ourselves out there, and trying to impress others(especially desirable guys), is something we learn from culture; it can easily become a habit we practice every day, and turn into a lifestyle! How terrible! We put so much effort into trying to make others think we are great, and somehow our view of the cool person we really are gets leeched out by who we are trying to become.
Who are we trying to become anyways?
Is showing off to get attention (because we feel like we need people to like us to be happy) really who we are, or who we want to be? I don't think it is.
Of course we want people to like us, I think everybody does. We all want to be accepted and thought of as great, and unique. But when you are crying out for attention, you are going to attract others who are crying out for attention as well. Misery loves company, they say. And you know what my old youth pastor used to say? "Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future." Not a very promising situation, huh?
Yup...I just went there. I know, I'm still trying to believe it too.
Stop and take a breather, because all this just got reaaaally deep! :P

Breathe in, breathe out. There!

Okay. So, we are looking at the face of the issue I dug up. I opened a can of worms, and now the question is, how do we solve the problem?
Well.......sorry to say it, (actually I'm not sorry to say it at all..) we don't! We don't fix the problem. We can't. We can't. (Emphasis on that fact that we are unable to- O.K. I think you get the point. You probably just think I'm crazy and are wondering where I'm going with this. Patience, my dear child..)
So, read this very slowly and try to follow along. Re-read it a few times if you have to, but please, i beg you, let it soak in.
Modesty comes from the inside ~ If it doesn't come from the inside, but only stems from the outside, (or if there just isn't any modesty at all,) then there is an inner problem ~ The inner problem is either a lack of knowlege, insecurity, or vanity ~ All of those signal a void; a hole in ourselves that is not being filled ~ That void is where the passionate love of Jesus Christ is meant to consume us; wreck us; and transform us ~

Ladies and gentlemen, I have just given away the answer to basically all of your problems and issues you have ever had and ever will have. But especially I have given away the only way to solve the inner issue we've been talking about. Insecurities.
How did this post go from modesty (or immodesty) to insecurities? Simple. They both are related and both stem from matters of the heart. And now we are getting into the heart of the matter.

 For atleast the next minute, I want you to throw away everything about God that you think you know. Yes, everything. Good and bad. (Lets start on a fresh thought train just for the sake of you possibly understanding what Im about to throw at cha!)

Any physical immodesty, outward immodesty, insecurity, any anything that confuses you about who you are and who you are supposed to be, can be taken away and beautifully replaced by the unfailing, and no-strings-attached love of Jesus.
When you open yourself to the fact that no matter what your doing, who you are being, and where you have been, you can always fall on your knees, or in my case, flop on my bed and say "Hey Jesus...it's me again. I really need you. I want to want you. Help me, because you know I can't do this by myself. I love you.....show me your love; you say in your word that if I ask, you shall give, and I know you want to give me your love; we both know I don't deserve it; but I can have it thanks to the cross- Let me experience your tangible holy spirit and love like never before. I want it, Jesus. I want you!"
Thats it. All we have to do is be real with Him.

You dont have to change for Jesus to love you. He will prompt your heart to change. If something has been on your mind lately that you feel like you could change, or something that you should change, then that is the Holy Spirit working on your heart about that. Work with him, not against. Just because you have the freedom and grace of Christs love doesn't mean that we shouldn't love Him back. Love goes both ways. We can worship and love Him by drawing near to him and praising Him, but also by responding and genuinely living out the love of God.  That includes obeying Him when he prompts our heart towards steps of change. Sometimes, and most of the times, they are baby steps.


 Peace out for now <3

Jesus is AWESOME!

I am realizing more and more, that this Journey to the heart of the God is MUCH more mind-blowing and amazing then I ever thought possible.

God; this unimaginably powerful, majestic, glorious, perfect being- who always was, always is, and always will be; He created the galaxies, planets, stars, and every mystery in space....but He also thought up, and chose to create carefully, the butterfly- a frail but graceful creature, who's sole purpose in life is to drink from the sweet nectar which flowers create, and flutter around with delicate wings, and lay eggs which will someday turn into caterpillars, which will someday  transform into another butterfly...and the whole simple, but admirable, process begins again and again without end!!!!!!

Who is this God, and WHY did He make ME?

Why does He choose to chase after me, like a lover so completely overcome with undying, selfless love for someone?

Why does He care about my every though- my every word- and constantly is dreaming of me?

Why can He not STAND the thought of me being away from Him for even a moment- much less eternity!? So much so, that he would send His most beloved Son, Jesus, to come and become a love sacrifice to atone for my sin?

And why was Jesus so wholly willing to do what it took for me to have the choice to fall in love with Him and be cleansed from all my filthy unrighteousness?

Why was He thinking of me with love when he hung on that rugged cross, carrying every sinful deed I have done- word I have spoken- or thought I have ever thought? When I and everyone of my kind were the ones nailing his wrists there?

Why is there always another chance to choose Him every morning?

I may never find out the answer. Or maybe the answer is just the amazingness of God. Because He is SO amazing. I want to live my life in the role He wants me to play in His awesome plan for this planet. Until he comes back.....I want my life to be solid proof that He exists, and that His love is greater than life itself<3

YOLO! ;)

I'm realizing that if you want to live your life to the fullest, you should do it.

That ancient oak tree you've wanted to climb for years? Climb it.

If it's pouring rain outside and you feel this foreign, care-free urge to go dance in it? Go, bust-a-move!

(Oh, and drag someone else along if they feel it too!)

If you want to smile when your walking in the sunshine on a beautiful day when the breeze is blowing through your hair....go ahead. The people who see you will either smile too, because it's contagious, or will think you're crazy. But life is too short to be normal, right?

Wear those new shoes you bought, no matter how badly they match your outfit.

Try something new.

Or, get the same old thing you order every time you go to the ice cream shoppe!

Pamper yourself sometimes.

Better yet, pamper others too!

When you're tempted to do something that will benefit someone else, give in. You'll be glad you did.

Watch the clouds roll by. Flop in the grass and find shapes and animals if it suits your fancy!

Laugh. Life is too short not to.

Dance like nobody is watching...

...Even if they are.

(Lets admit it, everyone wants the inner confidence and freedom to do that!)

Love God uncontrollably and worship without holding back. Isn't He the one you want the most, anyways?

(You're the one He wants the most!)

Rent a movie you've wanted to see for a long time.

Oh, and invite that person who needs a friend over to watch it with you, too!

(A movie isn't a movie without popcorn! Preferably white chocolate peanut butter popcorn..mmm..)

Tell a random person that Jesus loves them! Because he does.

Dare to hope for something you've wanted. God fulfills our wildest dreams!

(I went to Hawaii!! C'mon people, without Jesus I never would have had that chance.)

Start a fund to go on a fun road trip with your friends!!

Toss a nickel in a wishing well or a fountain.

(Knowing that ultimately your wish is a request to Jesus ^.^)

Walk around barefoot and get your feet dirty.

(Ladies, don't forget to try a new nail polish color first! ;)

Go on, watch an old old Disney movie you LOVED as a kid.

Don't be afraid to have a crush on somebody.

Just know who you should ultimately be falling hopelessly in love with;

Jesus<3 (who relentlessly loves and romances us by the minute!)

Write someone a letter, and send it; the old fashion way!

Sing your heart out in the shower.

(Do you believe you can fly?)

Start an online blog. Why not?

Pick a flower and put it in your hair.

Pick another one and put it in someone else's hair!

Listen to your new favorite song;

Listen to it a couple more times!

Relax on your porch swing and read a good book.

(Lemonade, anyone?)

Sing karaoke at your friends house.

Tip your waiter/waitress a little extra, especially if they seemed like today wasn't exactly their day.

Tell a corny joke, and laugh at it!

Use a corny pick-up line on someone!

Build a sandcastle.

Make a snow angel!

Start a snowball war.

Build a forte in your living room with couch cushions and pillows!

Oh, and invite a kid to do it with you. It will make their day.

Complement a stranger!

Take the time to forget your to-do list and fully enjoy the moment you're in.

Take a chance!

Make a change.

You only live once. Will you live to the fullest?

Try, atleast once today, to enjoy the moment, or make that moment enjoyable for you or someone else.

Don't forget to smile.

You're smile is beautiful;

<3